Late Night Writings

Today was a pretty nice day! Woo. Beside the fact that I am still searching for my appetite...I felt okay. My stomach hurt for a little bit...and I had a scary dream. Yep...I did. LOL.

So, I started my day today as I usually do, with a call from "QT". She is ADORABLE in the morning. I love mornings now. So, we talked a bunch of times...texted...like usual...and I dozed in and out of sleep. Finally..about eleven thirty...I get ready for class...and she calls. "Turn on the Radio" So, I do, and the CUTEST song is on. Then she sends me a text saying "What did you think of that song coming from me?"

WHAT DO I THINK??!?

So many things..but for the most part...just how adorable and wonderful she is. Who does that? All this sweet and adorable romancing picks up my cool points and puts them on a plane to AFRICA. They are soo gone...I'm twisted up in the game. I can't even spell my own name and I'm speaking in tongues. OMG. Really...I am.


Okay..aside from that... I had a lazy day. I sat in the room and slept. I must be sick or something. I dunno. I just can't stop thinking about her. And she is in COLUMBUS this weekend. I wonder what we would have done if she wouldn't have been away......And...she told her MOM about me. That makes me excited. *sigh* Hopelessly hopeful....

As any writer will tell you...sometimes you just get these urges to write and write...and I have it right now. I just wrote a couple of poems...and I like them. I'm not claiming that they are the BEST or even good...but they make me happy. I think writing poetry is like a puzzle. You know the point you want to get across...and you have to find out how words rhyme and sound together to get it together. It makes me happy. You try all these different combinations...refine your meanings...and come up with something pretty clever...seeing that you started out with a blank piece of paper and an idea. My only problem is that I think that every poem should have a beginning, middle, and end. ALWAYS...right away.


I can't wait until tomorrow. I get to go hang out with Jen! That should be fun. My twin is a good time.


Bottom Line- Things are getting MORE CUTE every day.

Song- If You Were Mine, Marcos Hernandez

Mood- Hopelessly Hopeful

Wake Up Calls

I know that your not going to believe this but, OMG....Its like...six a.m....and I have already been to sleep. I'm just as surprised as you. I'm not used to being tired early...and then being ready to be awake at SIX. Wow. I'm too excited about it myself. Usually, its about this time I start saying to myself, "Self...I think it might be time for you to think about maybe getting tired and going to sleep." But now I'm like Good Morning World!


So, to keep you updated on the whole hunger issue...I'm feeling a bit hungrier today already...but I'm still a lil worried. But, I'm sure I will be back to normal soon. :)

So, in other news....I went and got help on my paper! Woo. So, I'm kinda excited about writing it. Of course, me being the loverly person that I am, I won't do it until the last moment. But, yall know...I got this!

So, okay...let me stop being perped out. You all know that I want to tell you more about this awesome person that I met...but...before we go into that. Can you believe I told my mom I was a Lesbian? Yup. I DID. I'm like, too excited about it....and she took it great. Just like I knew she would...because...afterall- She is my mom right? So, this leaves my possibilities wide open...and I feel like I did the right thing. I'm very very very happy about it. Yay! And, it was so weird how it happened...because I just felt like I should tell her randomly. At least now she will be able to help me decide who all else to tell. I just wonder what she REALLY thinks about it in her heart. A lot harder to tell that kind of thing, but I mean, I can't really spend my time wondering about it. It is kinda her responsibility toward me to let me know these things. Obviously...we all know that I will be kinda wondering about that for a while...but I'm really REALLY sure that if there are any lil things in there...they will be worked out for the positive. My mommy is the best woman I've ever met...and she has proved it and keeps that record going strong to this day.

Okay..so...the topic on the forefront (is that how you spell that?) of my mind. HER. *sigh* So, let me just start by sharing that I'm not sure how she would feel knowing that my journal is online...so, therefore, I shall not say her name, to the best of my ability. So, for this moment we shall call her "QT". LOL. CORNY!! Hahah. I crack myself up. Anyway, back to that. So, we talk on the phone every day...a million times a day. She calls me on her way to work, at work, and after work....We text eachother. And I love it. I think about her almost constantly....like...her name just floats around in my mind. Of course, it accompanied by some dramatically devastating violin music or something overly dramatic like that...because it is my mind. LOL. And, I dunno....I am really excited. And I can't help it. "QT" is the most unique and divine person I have met in a long time. Haven't you ever just met someone and thought..."this person is special.". Maybe not in a romantic sense right away...but like...in a more all around type of way? Well, if you get what I'm saying...thats what its like. Every moment that we talk...or hang out...just confirms this beyond belief. And don't get me wrong, I can see that she isn't perfect...but what is life without a bit of imperfection? Personally, I like whats different about her...in a very broad and non-pop cultureish way. (yeeah...I did spell that effed up)

So, specifically...she came over last night and of course, again, I was a ball of nerves. LOL. But, they wore off...like usual. She brought me juice :) Awww.... I don't know why that makes me all happy inside...but it does! I mean, who thinks of giving someone stuff like that. It is sooo basic that its completely flattering. Like, anyone can say...I want to give you something so spectacular that its going to dazzle you into believing what I want you to about me...but to me...this (JUICE) says "Hi. Be okay. I want you to not be thirsty". LOL. Okay, so...I can see if right now your like..."what is Tiffany talking about". But, I mean..I dunno...it makes sense to me.

So, again...we hung out...talked...and then she asked me if I wanted to go eat dinner...and I said yes! She took me to Applebee's and you all know that I LOVE Applebee's. She sang in the car...laughed...and it was awesome. When we got there...I was a bit nervous again...but she is just so easy to be with...it was gone in like "three point five". Hahaha ;). We had a GREAT conversation...and I just kept thinking to myself...How lucky are you to look across this table and see her? This wonderful person is taking time out of her EXTREMELY busy life to sit and talk to you. *sigh* It was great. So, .... we talked...ate. She told me a bunch of stories...I talked to her about my FAM and it was cool. After we left...we parked...talked..and I didn't want her to go! :)
Since it was cold...she offered to drop me off at my meeting. Of course, me being the non-walker and it being negative 203948209384028430923 outside...I accepted very graciously!!

Okay, so this is the area that got kind of interesting. We began a lil *shout out to communications majors* "meta-relational" conversation. The feeling that I got from the begining of the conversation is that she doesn't want me to get too invested emotionally...before we mutually agree that its the right time. Which, personally, is kinda silly... Whenever I feel something...its already done, so in this sense, it would be almost like...ignoring the fact..or not sharing. I can deal with the not sharing line...but ignoring it? I think not. I don't know if this is just me being me, again, lol....but I truthfully think that to find someone and then to try to "play it safe" is delusional. Okay...thats a bit of a serious word...its more like... nice try. LOL. I dunno...I understand the risks...the dissapointment and sadness that can occur if it doesn't turn out...but weigh that against all the good things! They just pale in comparison. But, truthfully, if she didn't worry so much about my feelings...she wouldn't be the person that she is. So, I appreciate it...and adore it actually. It speaks volumes about her integrity...and honesty...and life perceptions..and values. All the things that really matter ARE the things we said without saying...this conversation was a reallygood way to get those out on the table.

I was very surprised actually, for us to be talking about these things. Not because they didn't need to be said...but personally, you all know that I have a hard time sometimes talking about stuff thats close to my heart. I mean, I can get around a bit..but she just asks these mind bendingly honest and direct questions that are like "whoa". Another thing I like about her...she cuts to the chase. If it was up to me...I'd never see a chase in my life. LOL. I really wouldn't. This part of the conversation really brought to my attention a lot of things that she has been thinking...and just reaffirmed the fact that she is as into me as I am to her. We are thinking of the same kinds of things about the whole "thing" that we have. I don't even know what to call it. "dating" thing. LOL. I just let her call it what she needs to....and she told me the rules...which makes it easy. If I had to come up with something...we would still need to be thinking~!

So, the question you all are probably asking..."Love?". Nope. Not yet. :) And that makes me happy. Because, I just think that reaffirms my belief that I am in a good place with myself. You all know how mad I get when people just start calling out words without checking for basis and meaning. I think that for me to say anything of the kind would show my lack of maturity and knowledge of feelings. So, therefore, I'm optimistic...enthralled...and enchanted...but not in love. Not that I couldn't see it happening (oh yes children, It is a very real possibility for the future, rest assured)...because personally, I think that everyone has that lil thought when you meet someone like "Could I love this person?" Valid. I mean..whats the point of persuing something if not? Right?

I get the feeling from her that she is a bit scared...because she is suuuuch a "give you the world" person...that being single *cause and effect...obviously she has had break ups to this point if she's not with someone* has made her weary of people with less than honorable intentions. Sometimes I worry about her thinking my intentions are less than honest...because of the fact that I can't really give her anything to say "look". But, she said that she doesn't think that at all...but still. It makes me feel kinda bad. But, on a good note (not that all these haven't been good notes...) She did say that I could take her to dinner! How cute!

Well, at the end of this conversation....I have two conclusions. She likes me as much as I like her...and we feel the same way about a lot of important issues. :) YAY!

Okay...if you read all of that above...Good for you! LOL. I'm glad that you took the time to read my ramblings. And...it is now seven fifteen...lol...and I'm cold. So, I am getting back in bed...to think about her...and maybe even drop her a lil text or two!




Bottom Line- Outlook-GREAT :)

Song- Overrated, Gavin DeGraw

Mood- Contemplative

Rose Colored Glasses!

So, last night I had my first date EVER in life. Yeah, I know what your thinking...why is this 20 year old girl going on her first date this late in life. Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure. Maybe because the girl upstairs is looking out for me...and she wanted it to be perfect. It suuure was.

So, here's what went down. My loverly date came over and GAVE ME FLOWERS! Awww. They are the prettiest pink roses (as seen above). How nice is that??? Too nice. :) Then she got to take a peek at my loverly dorm room. Yes, I did clean it. LOL. There is some Hunt somewhere inside of me. Or, maybe its all those days I spent living with Mollie Oh. We listened to some music, of course, me being the person that I am...I was nervous and jittery. So, instead of staying in the room, she suggested that we go and get some Starbucks. :)
Now, if you know me, (which you probably do, because why else would you be reading this) you know how much I ADORE Starbucks.. Mmmm....
I got a Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino. Mmmm. Then, she took me on a drive to Cuyahoga Falls...and we walked and talked by the water... Man, was it perfect. It was dark, and the lights were glittering off of the river...and the wind was all warm...and it was blowing nicely. *sigh* Yes, it was GREAT. After we stood there...we went and sat upriver and watched the little waterfall. That was cool :) We talked some more. She is such an easy person to talk to. You just feel like you have known her for a long time...and that she really understands what your saying. Then, after that, we went and visited some friends. That could have been a lil' better...but I am sure it will be next time. I have faith.
Then, we cuddled! Awwww. It was the best. I haven't ever cuddled with anyone before. Yes, again...I am a freak of nature. Or, as my mom would have me to believe a "late bloomer". Whatever. It doesn't matter anymore...because I'm like...happy! Yep. Happy. Weird.

I have always said...soon..soon...soon. And, its scary that I might have found something...but then again, haven't I said that before? Well, I guess dwelling on that factor won't make it better or worse. I'm just going to appreciate everyday that I can. Thats all I can do. And you can bet five dollars thats what I'm doing.

In other news, I got bitch slapped with some puddle water yesterday. I was soo mad. Here I am, minding my own business...walking to class...and all of a sudden, this truck drives right into a puddle along the side of the road and gets me SOAKED. And the worst part about it was, IT SMACKED ME DEAD IN THE FACE. Yeah. I know....what are the odds. It seemed like something from a movie. And, of course, when you have one of those moments...you want a friend...or someone there to witness it...and maybe offer you some support or something. No one. LOL.

Another thing that happened today was that I ended my three day mysterious non-eating streak. I haven't been hungry. Me, not hungry. Can you imagine? I dunno what was wrong with me...but I forced the rest of this T-Bone and Sweet Potato that my mom got me on Saturday down my throat. And, in all actuality, I feel a great deal better. So, thats an interesting development in my life. I thought for a minute that this was my life changing..."I'm finally skinny" moment. Hahaha. I guess not.

Well...Thats all I've got to say. Nap Time :)




Bottom Line- First Dates are extremely awesome.

Song- You and Me, Lifehouse

Mood- Content

Memorable

So, today was a kind of crazy day. I finally fell into an exhausted sleep at about eight a.m. this morning after writing up a presentation for Criticisim and doing laundry...not to mention a long conversation with Jay! Fun times.

Woke up late for class. LOL. Got there about fifteen after. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. After that class was over, headed back to the room and took a nap until about five thirty. Markita showed up to harass me about class, which we didn't attend, and then made me get up and get a shower. After showering I felt completely renewed and I went and had something to eat. It had been at least 15 hours since I had last eaten. Needless to say, I smashed.

After that, I mailed some stuff to my dad...and I hopped on the campus loop toward Dunbar. Checked my mail, and saw that I had a package slip!! My daddy sent me three things of my favorite soap, a lil' bear, and a cute card! How sweet.

Then...I got back to the room and began studying for my Oceanography test.... Riiight. I'll be lucky for a C. Please, pray I get a C....
About 9 o' clock...I get a call from RJ! Woo! We talked for ever...about bunches of different topics. I'm sure everyone can relate to that happy feeling you feel in your chest when you talk to someone you think is georgeous? Hmmm...I got it.

So, I'm excited about tomorrow....


And I'll leave it at that.
Help me not to be too excited. Please. :)




Bottom Line- Today was freaking great.

Song- Wish You Were Here- Incubus

Mood- Euphoric :)