...Held Together By Clothes Pins & Tension....: 01/09/2005

About Me

Location: Columbus, Ohio, United States

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!" --John Mayer--

Saturday, January 15, 2005

The absence of everything fun...is my house

My grandparents are driving me crazy. And I love Molly Kay. And...as I was thinking in my boredness last night....Molly Kay is the only person that ever says she loves me. So.. I love Molly Kay. :-D

Anyway...I don't have anything to say. I applied for my housing at Wright. I'm accepted. And I got a letter about scheduling my classes. I'm really excited to go. Even tho I'm going to be by myself. I can't wait to get there so I can meet all kinds of new people and have FUN again. I miss college life a lot. I miss having my own space...and the fifty million kids living within a ten minute radius. I just want to stay up late and do all the things I'm used to doing. Instead of sitting around the house watching TV and maybe going to hang out at someone's house. Not that I don't love the people here...but they are doing all the shit I don't want to do. I even miss writing papers the night before and sneaking around campus...I miss the RADIO STATION. I'm definately going to do that when I get there. I also can't wait to see what kind of Kelly Hancock is running the show at WSU PRSSA. I mean...I'll only be there for three months...but hey. It's gonna be MUCH more fun than home.

So...yep. I'm definately scared out of my mind....but hey. WTF. People aren't going to be there for me forever. I mean....if people will leave you after 15 years of marriage...Plans to transfer together don't mean anything...plus...Why move all your shit down there for a quarter? LOL. But...being the person I am...I'mma haul all my shit there. Woo :) Isn't that exciting. Well...my time here at the LiBERRY is almost up...and I gotta go get some movies to keep my attention so that I don't go insane on a Sat. night with nothing to do :)

The Bottom Line- Lalueroau aljfoaweui ahdfh ehe asloeu bhaeushgpwnpee oiwuer FHEEW.

Song of the Moment- Boyz II Men, End of the Road (sniff, sniff)

Mood- Optimistic with a sprinkle of apprehension

**I miss the TWINS...They are too sexy...and I love them**

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

To A Mouse

"The best laid plans of Mice and Men often go awry"
-Robert Burns

Sigh. That is the quote of my life. Here I stand...broke, home, and bored. What nothing I have become lately. Let me not beat around the bush (like bush) and tell you all what I'm thinking. I have really been upset lately. I feel like all my friends are deserting me. I make plans with them, and then they never follow through. I ALWAYS hold up my end of the deal. That makes me sad.

So, now I'm stuck here in Lorain with friends who don't really care, and I'm left going to a new college ALONE. Why do I always end up fucked royally? I can't believe that I have come so far in life since h.s. and make all these friends....and then I get stuck by myself. Like, all those days didn't amount to anything and everyone has walked out. Including myself. And sometimes those who you think will keep their word don't....I have four fine examples of that right now. And those who you have the most confidence and invest so much time and emotion into just get up and throw it all away. They can't see what's right in front of them. They get so caught up in trying to save the world that they don't take any time to see that their own world has wilted and died. That they have given away all their resources to someone who has exhausted their own.

But, what's done is done. And I can only hope that someone changes their mind. I hate to be the bitter and angry person I am right now. Maybe it's just the weather...and tomorrow I will wake up happy and everything will be okay.

On a whole different note...

I signed up for classes at LCCC today. Don't be fooled America. I know that you just said "wow...she'll never leave now". hahaha. I'm leaving. I don't give two cents about who or what is here...I'm leaving. When MARCH 28th comes I'll be @ WSU. Because I GOT ACCEPTED. Woo. But, for now...I'm taking speech, spanish, and history. Gives me a reason to do something. I mean...I have no reason to leave the house or get up in the morning anymore. I just have the saddest life. *sigh* Well, hope everything is good with who ever reads this. I miss everyone. But three people in particular.
I still love you guys...I'm just depressed. It will pass.

Umm...call me. 440-323-4980.

The Bottom Line- My life sucks cause all my plans went out the door. I'm high and dry, all alone.

Song of the Moment- All American Rejects, The Last Song

Mood- Sad, depressed, cynical